Be open to criticism and learn to love it!

Don’t you just love when someone asks “are you ready for some criticism?”
Does your heart sink or does your back stiffen? Your self-talk begins – “it sounds bad”. You begin to question yourself – “what have I done wrong now”. Brace yourself, here it comes. This all happens in a nanosecond. I’m sure there are not many of us that could honestly answer yes?

Criticism is a tough thing to hear, but sometimes it is just as tough for others to tell you. Usually the message is given from a place of love. The person feels so passionate about an issue that they need to express it to you.

You must love yourself enough to say “Yes, I’m ready, help me improve”. Most of the time, when we listen and understand where the criticism is coming from, it provides enlightening insights of another’s perspective. Listen, and love the learning.

Recently this happened to me, I so proudly sent a layout to a dear friend and then the dreaded question came. “Oh…are you open to some criticism?” Okay…., I think I’m ready to hear some criticism. In her kind gentleness, she conveyed to me that my image could be seen as old-fashioned, not modern and contemporary, like I wanted. It also didn’t match the essence of the mission. It was time to raise the bar. She agreed to work with me and help me choose another design. Wow what a difference, it took me a couple of tries but I get it now. The new layout was simplistic and modern thanks to a little bit of criticism from a friend.

So, next time someone asks you if you want to hear some criticism, say yes, right away, avoid all the self-talk and be open to new ideas…it will be worth it.

Receive it as it was meant – to improve you!

Courage

 

Courage, such a simple word, but when you try and implement this word into your life, courage takes on a much greater importance. Sometime it can become frightening to be courageous almost to the point of paralyzing.  You must believe that you have the power and the courage within.

 

Courage can be as simple and putting your hand up in school.  When you thought you knew the right answer all you needed to do was to raise your hand above your head and wait for the teacher to acknowledge you.  When your time came you were brilliant, confident and sure of your response.  Sometimes just putting up your hand takes courage. Knowing that you are ready, able and willing gives you the confidence to be courageous.

 

Remember when you asked your mother to buy that beautiful rain hat and then you waited for the next rainy day to where it.  You mother questioned your courage. Your courage was the belief that you looked fabulous, no better than fabulous, incredibly stylish.  You had all the confidence in the world and in your mind, it had nothing to do with courage.  Your mother thought it would take great courage to where that big, wide-rimmed plastic hat with the overly large pink neon pok-a-dots.  Nonsense you were full of courage.

 

Courage can also be a life transforming concept.  Some women live in abused homes where they wish they had the courage to change, but when the time comes to make a move or to take that first step, courage escapes them. Courage is often seen as commitment, confidence and a unyielding goal or drive.

 

Others who are inflicted with cancer must have the courage to fight for their life and kill this horrible disease with every fiber of their body and every thought of their mind. Other are born with disabilities and find the courage to face life head on with courage and strength.

 

Sometime courage is displayed when an accident happens and the witness jumps into a very dangerous situation to help another.  This kind of courage is sometime spontaneous and comes before we have time to think about it, contemplate our action and our response.

 

Having the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action, this is how courage is defined.

 

Courage take on all kinds of forms; charge when you should run, rise above adversity, persevere through abuse, preparing for medical miracles, recovery above the odds, dancing to your own rhythm, trying something new or simply believing in yourself.

 

You can become more courageous one step at a time.  Begin with standing up for yourself or for others or for a cause that you believe in.  Vocalize your thoughts and feelings, don’t be a victim, is does not serve anyone well.

 

Have the courage you seek.  Say it to yourself, “I am courageous”, I am not afraid of anything” feel empowered, hold the thought of be courageous and you shall be.  So go on be courageous on any level.  It will make you feel amazing.

Conscious Awareness

Many ask, what is this “conscious awareness” stuff.  I’m conscious, I’m awake and I am aware of the phone, the TV and people when they speak to me.  I don’t understand what people mean by becoming conscious aware, are there people who are not aware of this stuff?  This was the response I got when I first mentioned these words to a woman in her late twenties. 

 

I recognized that we need to spend some time sharing what Conscious Awareness is and what it means to our own personal growth.  First off, becoming aware simply means recognizing that something is. 

 

Some know that they want a better life, but don’t know what that means let alone how to get it.  They desire more, but what is that more.  How do they change to bring more and better into their life?  Do the work, become more conscious aware.  It begins with exploring and giving yourself credit for your growth to date.  Start at the beginning make a list of what and how you have grown.  You will become more aware of what growth is, next you will ask yourself “why do I want to grow?” What will that bring you?  How will it affect your life?  Then start to recognize the patterns that keep you where you are. The way people treat you, how you react, what are you attracted to and why? 

 

Start to become aware of your inner voice, we all have one.  I once heard somewhere if you ever say to yourself “self we are going to…” or you may say “I’m going to remind myself to…”  who are you talking to?  You are talking to your inner self.  We all do.  It would be a very lonely place if we didn’t have ourselves to talk to.  So if you acknowledge that you talk to yourself, you must become more aware of the inner voice talking to you.  Now you are on your journey of conscious awareness.

 

Once you have become more aware of your growth to date, the patterns in your life, the difference between you and your inner self and you begin to hear your body, you are ready for real change.

 

The Personal Growth Sheet entitled Conscious Awareness guides you through this process by asking thought provoking questions.  Become a subscriber and work on separate elements of your personal growth each month in the privacy of your own home.  Each month the Women’s Growth Network will send you a Growth Sheet that will offer one personal growth topic to think about. Visit www.womensgrowthnetwork.com

Affirmations

Affirmations don’t work.  That’s an affirmation that most people say if they have tried and not succeeded with affirmations.  Negative beliefs, such as believing that affirmations never work, means that affirmations will never work.  If you want change, you must change your thinking, your belief in affirmations, and your attitude. 

 

You are what you think you are.  So if you are not the way you want to be, you must firstly believe that you have the power to change.  You can begin this transformation through affirmations.  Affirmations are simply statements that you write to yourself.  A way to reprogram your mind.  These simple words can change the way you think. 

 

A few years ago, I was very unhappy and I knew that I wanted to change, but how?  I kept telling myself that I was happy, I made my passwords happy, I put a message on my phone wishing myself a happy day.  Soon I started feeling truly happy.

 

Affirmations don’t have to be a scary thing; they need to be a direct statement that excites you.  For instance, an affirmation for getting more money is “I am a magnet for money”.  Isn’t that a lot better way to think than the doom and gloom statements we are telling ourselves each day.  One of my personal favourites is “something wonderful is going to happen today”.  I say this one FIRST thing when I awake and it gives me a wonderful feeling of anticipation, because I know that something wonderful will happen, and it usually does.  

 

Affirmations work if you keep saying them to yourself over and over.  You must begin to believe your affirmations.  We often hear fake it till you make it.  Change the way you think by reprogramming your mind with affirmations.  Say it, read it, sing it or shout it.  It really doesn’t matter how you get the message through to your brain, just do it.  The next thing is you must start imagining what it will feel like to have that thing which you desire.  Believe that this is true.

 

Affirmations should be written in the present.  Don’t write “I will have” because that means that it is always out there.  You want to write affirmations like they have already happened.  If you want money, allow yourself to be the magnet, feel what it would be like to be drawn to opportunity for wealth.  Believe it is possible.

 

Write affirmations for each part of your life that you want to change.  Be brave, nothing comes from nothing.  Do something.  Write an affirmation for your relationships, for your health, and for your bankbook.  Go crazy.  Each time you feel lacking or negative, write a positive abundant affirmation.

 

Every night before retiring read your affirmations and feel each one of them and imagine your life that way.  For some people mornings are better.  Begin each day by reading your affirmations and get your mind going in the right direction.  For others putting affirming statements around the house is a great way of keeping your thoughts focused.  You could write them out and attach a few to the mirror in the bathroom, on the fridge, or at your workstation. 

 

If you are really stuck and don’t want to write your own affirmations you may want to consider the pre-recorded affirmations that are available from ThinkRightNow.  There is a link to these wonderful affirmation audio products through the Tools Page at www.womensgrowthnetwork.com

Magic of Masks

Have you ever met someone and thought that they were not authentic.  They are phony and not real. You question what you see on the outside as to who they are on the inside. The same principal applies when you are asked to do something that you really don’t want to do. You put on a front and just do it.  These are called masks. 

Some people live behind masks and don’t even recognize that they are not who they really are, their authentic self.   Others assume the role of the mask on a temporary basis and use the mask as a crutch.

Sometime we cover up who we are, how we think or what we believe by wearing subconscious masks.  We’re not talking about a physical masks but mood masks or falsehoods that affect our personality, our actions and our feelings.  Wearing masks can also cover up the deeper routed issues.

Are you wearing the…

Gracious Mask and are really self-centred, deceiving and hurtful.  

Honesty Mask and you lack integrity, steal software, borrow and don’t return or use other’s ideas.

Happiness Mask and you are really sad, unhappy, hurt and disappointed.

Confident Mask and lack self confidence, are uncertain and afraid.

Generally we wear masks to cover up the deeper routed issues that we want to forget about and show a different front or we wear masks to help up put on the front that we imagine we are.  This process helps us try on different personalities and allows us to “fake it” until we make the changes.  This is a positive way to wear emotional masks.

The Women’s Growth Network offered a Personal Growth Sheet to explore what masks we are wearing and how the magic of masks can be uplifting and positive or negative and destructive as it covers the true authentic self.  Now is the time to confess what masks we wear and want to keep and those ones we should discard and allow the healing to happen to be true to ourselves, our authentic self.

Masks can be magical in our growth.  Choose your masks carefully.

 Brenda

Just Breathe

 

Imagine if we had to think about each breath we take.  Thank goodness our bodies do this important job every second or so of everyday automatically, without a thought from us.

Rarely do we even think about our breath.  We just take for granted that it will be as needed.  The quality of our breathing is in our control and we should examine how we breathe and improve our quality of breathe to increase the quality of oxygen our bodies receive.

First off have you ever noticed what kind of breather you are?  Are you a chest or belly breather.  Apparently we can be breathing incorrectly and not even know it.  The proper way to breathe is using your diaphragm.  Your belly should be expanding and detracting when you breathe not your chest. 

Do you breathe from your mouth or your nose?  The body wants the air to be warm and filtered and this is achieved by breathing through your nose.

Oxygen is essential to our life. We can live without water for days, months without food but without oxygen for a couple of minutes and we die.  The main way our body received oxygen is through our breathing.  Short shallow breathes may not allow enough oxygen into the body and we will become oxygen deprived.

Our organs depend on oxygen and we must be aware of how much we are allowing in our bodies.  Breathe deep from your abdomen and allow the oxygen to penetrate throughout your lungs and body.  Your lungs can be divided into three layers.  The top 1/3 nourishes the spiritual or enteric body, the centre nourishes the emotion and psychological and the lower third nourishes the physical body.  We need it all.

Indoor air in the winter can become stale and filled with harmful spores from pet dander, dust and moulds.  Get outside and breathe.

Examine your quality of breath by counting as you breathe out (exhale).  Can you increase the number you can count to?  This will help you understand your breath strength.  Next count how many breaths you take in one minute.  Can you slow that down and take bigger, deeper breathes.

There are ways that you can improve your breathing and may include:  Open your lungs up by improving your posture.  Lungs, diaphragm are made to be open and curling your body over inhibits your potential to breathe. Breath deeper, get that oxygen into your body. Expand your length of breath.  Reduce pollutants in your home and make the air you breathe better.  Finally, get out of the house and breathe some fresh air. 

Just breathe and tune into your breathing for better health.

I Like Myself:

Sometimes saying  “I Love You” to someone is easier than saying it to yourself.  If that’s the case then maybe it’s time to begin with I Like Myself.   If you can easily say that you like yourself then ask your friends or family members if they can say it, you might be surprised. 

A few years ago I took that challenge and asked my 87 year old father if he could say “I like myself”, I was sadly surprised to watch him struggle with those words.  After a productive, prosperous life it should be easy to say those simple three words.  I’ve discovered that it does not come easily to many.  Age has nothing to do with it, but it proves that self-healing can be done at any age and the sooner the better.   

So why is it so difficult to say those three little words?  Is it a belief that you are not worth liking?  Nonsense.  Let’s start by examining yourself to discover what you do like. Oh come on, there is something.  What parts of your body do you like? Come on focus,  maybe it’s your eyes, smile, nails knees or ankles.  There may be many things you like about yourself and yes there will be a few you won’t like but that just means they need more or less attention.  Focus on the feeling that is associated with liking that part.  It probably puts a smile on your face.  Imagine if you were to like everything about you, imagine the smile you would have and the great feeling that would radiate from the inside.   

What about your brain, what do you like about that, maybe it’s your creativity, your organization abilities, your observing nature or your ability to reason.  Discover what you like most about you, is your ability to think, plan or do.  Then there is your personality, maybe you like that you are fun, outgoing, humourous, talkative or adventurous.   

It’s not about others liking you, it’s about you liking you.  You are the most important person in your world.  When you truly like yourself, you won’t care what other perceive about you because you know in the bottom of your heart that you are likeable.  Those that don’t like you may not like themselves either.  Think about your friends, why do they like you.   

If you are coming up a little short in the I like myself department, here’s a simple exercise that will change your life.  Instead of growling at or ignoring every mirror you see, stop and look directly into your eyes and say “I like myself”, give yourself a nod and move on with what you were doing.  Don’t look at all the things you don’t like, just look into your eyes.  Once you have mastered that start saying it to yourself 1000 times a day.  When you feel brave enough say it out loud to your family members.  Ask them if they can say it, if not you can play the I like myself game with each other.   

Being able to confidently say I like myself is not arrogant, conceded or anything close.  It is confirmation to yourself that you simply like yourself.  It’s a good thing.   Now that you are self-assured that you like yourself, you may want to move to the next step… saying… I love myself.  It’s not too far of a stretch is it? 

Thought Patterns

Wow, where do we start with this one. 

There are those thousands of thoughts coming to us every moment of every day. Good thoughts, bad thoughts, thoughts about our kids, our parents, our environment, our work, bills, and of course there’s all those thoughts about taking some time for ourselves.  Where does it stop!  It doesn’t.  Our brains will continue to do it’s job and emit thoughts every minute of our lives.  Those thoughts can be positive or negative you have control over the way you think. 

Some people are not even aware of their thoughts.  It just automatic from thought to mouth, usually taking a direct route.  Some think and ponder their thoughts and then choose what they will do with their thoughts share, not share, act, not act.

It’s not always thoughts about others; often it’s thoughts about ourselves that seem to be negative.  Why is that?  We have lived with ourselves for our entire life.  No one knows us better than ourselves.  We’ve seen ourselves change and grow, and grow.  We’ve been growing everyday of our life, check the size of your ears. 

The wise always speak about keeping our thoughts positive.  They say, positive thoughts produce positive results.  Negative thinking produces negative feeling and more negative thoughts. 

It’s time to do a reality check on our thoughts.  This month we invite Personal Growth Sheet Participants to do just that.  Describe what your current thoughts are about yourself, your partner, kids etc. You may need a notebook.  Then explore these thoughts, are they negative, has this been long term thinking, do you want to think differently?

Next we explore ways to turn those negatives into positives.  There are a number of ways to help you change your thinking.  Practice affirmations, listen to positive CD’s, and remove negativity as much as possible. Try saying yes as much as possible or simply try changing your perspective.

Our thoughts form our reality.  If they are negative and you want to change them, go ahead, you have the power.  Explore what it would be like to think only positive thoughts about the people and your surroundings?  It will feel good, you might really like it.